Journey

My bird is hurting me. 

I wonder if I could be a story writer. I really do want to be one. 

Creating a story seems so wonderful; I transcribe a world, full of characters and their journeys, from my mind into reality.

Wow. I’ve always been taken away by that thought. An author has a whole world playing out within his mind but where is it? Where exactly is the mind? And where is the world within it? 

It comes forth from that invisible place called the mind into our tangible reality through the beauty of words. Ah, I can’t get over it. So weird.

Something out of nothing. 

Reading a book is peering into another’s mind even though that mind is really no where to be found.

The source of all human creation is invisible. 

Herman Hesse weaved his philosophy into story writing. I wonder if I can do that too. 

I need creative practice. 

Hello tumblr. 

I feel very lonely in this moment so I want to talk to you guys. By you guys, I really don’t know any of you which is kinda cool.

I see you all as I see myself. I’ve got Repose in Blue by Eluvium coursing through my consciousness and it is making me feel so much love for every one of you.

I was in philosophy the other day and I had a thought that my professor didn’t fully comprehend the depth of Martin Buber’s I and Thou. I told him that I think what he is really getting at is an dissolution of the self to the point where every object of our consciousness becomes intimately tied in with us, the subject. I told him I think that what Buber is getting at the same type of experience as the Buddhist enlightenment. He was somewhat taken aback by it, responded to me in a highly analytical way which is typical of a philosopher of course, and then ushered me away because he had students lined up to talk to him. But he did tell me that I am very much on to Buber while the rest of the class was somewhat lost which I took as a rather loose agreement on his part? I’m not sure. It felt like he was prevented from a full agreement by something and I think it is the analytical training a philosopher must adhere to in order to be respected in the academic circle. But analysis does not serve well in every case of comprehension. 

But at any case, a couple of days later, I was peeing in the philosophy wing and the TA for the class came in to pee two urinals over (he didn’t violate the code). It was an awkward moment because I liked him but I don’t really know how to navigate the social intricacies of a bathroom. I didn’t want to leave without saying hi but I felt awkward talking to a peeing man. 

But luckily, it all worked out as all good interactions do naturally flow. I was washing my hands and he came over, looked at me pensively, and said “you know I think you were on to something that day with the comparison between Buber and buddhism.” Of course these weren’t his exact words because I don’t have a perfect memory but a good narrative definitely needs dialogue in quotations. We talked about it a bit and he left me with one beautiful line that struck me so powerfully: “We really are a continuation of everything around us.”

What a beautiful way to phrase such an elegant truth. I really do hope you guys can one day move past comprehending thoughts and sayings like these and to actually experience them. It is one thing to talk and think about all of this and a quite another matter to experience the sensation of dissolving into and joining, becoming one, with everything around you. 

Please do so and join me, I feel so lonely here at times. 

With love,

Me. 

Not giving up,

not, not giving up. 

I’m flying in the sky, meet me in the clouds; find your wings. 

aestheticvoyage:

a good conversation is so refreshing.

the power of a solid friendship never fails to reinvigorate me.

yerrr. 

shout out to g diggy.